Antiphospholipid Syndrome.

After months of blood work and countless doctor appointments we finally found out I have what’s called Antiphospholipid Syndrome, or APS. And funny enough, June just so happens to be APS Awareness Month…so here I am, ready to tell you all about it.

APS is an autoimmune disease that causes blood clots to form in veins, arteries, and organs. And as it turns out 75-90% of people affected by APS are women. It’s one of the leading causes of heart attacks and strokes in women under 50. But, APS can also cause recurrent miscarriage and stillbirth.

So here we are…finally getting the answers we waited for. Finally knowing that even though there’s no quick fix for APS, it’s manageable. I’ll start by taking a baby Aspirin daily and at whatever point we decide to continue trying we will hopefully get pregnant. Once we have a confirmed pregnancy test I’ll start Lovenox injections and continue that until we get closer to our due date. I’ll continue to be followed by my regular OB, hematologist, and rheumatologist, but also by a high risk OB. Between all of them, they will decide when it is safe for me to deliver and all of that will be meticulously planned out too.

I’m so relieved knowing that we have answers and I’m so thankful that all of my doctors have been so wonderful and we have a plan moving forward. But as much as we all know I like to plan things, I still have so many mixed emotions. My results have been back for a few weeks now and for some reason I still have trouble wrapping my head around everything. It all just doesn’t feel real quite yet and to be honest, it makes me so nervous to even think about trying for a baby again. And trust me when I say that I know all of the painful bumps, bruises, and injections will be worth it. It’ll be more than worth it.

But right now, I’m okay with taking this time to digest everything. I’m okay with taking this time to educate myself the best I can so we can be as prepared as possible when we decide to try again. I don’t feel rushed and I don’t have this burning desire to start this whole process, because the truth is..I’m scared. It’s weird knowing that something is going on inside of you when on the outside, you seem fine. Because looking back I thought me being exhausted was just a “night shift thing” and I thought me losing my balance was just because I was clumsy. I thought me being so forgetful and bruising easily was normal. And I was told that having two miscarriages wasn’t uncommon and that it was okay because I was “still young.”

All of those things were rooted so much deeper. All of those things pointed me to APS. I’m glad I pushed and followed through with testing. I’m glad I was able to advocate for myself and will have access to the treatment that will hopefully allow Colton and I to have the family we’ve always dreamed of. Our journey has had it’s fair share of challenges so far and this is just one more stop on the way. But after everything…we’re going to have one heck of a story to tell and boy, are we ready for it.

Always,

Courtney